rainbowfish | ic spam

A box of Choco Pies and a note. The note reads:

Hey Corolla. Oil change for you.

Didn't see you outside earlier attempting to murder that mole. Not your speed?

Seemed like everyone basically had it handled.

I'm very disappointed in how people reacted. There was no need for that level of violence. It was upset! It would've gone home on its own!

Yeah. A little hard to de-escalate with a rodent the size of a city bus, though.

What do you want to do for your birthday? (Yes, I'm suppressing my feelings about Molepocalypse by imagining you in a little balloon hat.)

I'm going to Boston with Eden and Willy.

Can't help but think this is a direct response to my desire to see you in a funny little hat.

Sometimes I have plans.

But we'll be back on Thursday if you really want to do something.

Of course I do! Can I host a come through on your behalf on Saturday?

What does that entail for me?

Showing up on time and being gracious when people wish you a happy birthday. And, at some point, wearing a silly little hat. For just a few minutes.

And how many people are you inviting?

I was thinking that I would just do a network post and say "swing by my apartment between whenever and whenever" but I can be more discerning. I am not opposed to some low-level exclusionary bullying.

You don't have to bully anyone on my behalf, but it's good to know you're willing to.

Oh, good. Because Enoch will definitely be able to hear that we're having a party and I don't trust him not to file a noise complaint if we don't, at least, passively invite him.

I wouldn't ask you to not invite Enoch.

Really? Are you two getting along again?

I'm not sure I'd go that far. But that's my problem, not yours.

You're allowed to be petty on your birthday, but I will respect your wishes to remain respectful.

Stop being a devil on my shoulder.

Sorry. I already bought a head band with little horns on it and it's non-refundable 😈

Okay, well, I’m not listening to you. [...] I’d like to be friends again, if at all possible.

Anything you want from the city, by the way? I’ll run your errands.

Honestly, I think the fact that he's harassing you and not just taking notes on your every movement means that he wants to be friends again, too.

An oversized deck of cards
A clown nose
Wigs in various colors
155 biodegradable balloons
7 hula skirts
A cake roughly the size of a smallish human being
4 handles of cheap rum

Yeah, maybe.

You go ahead and venmo me $300 and I'll get right on that.

ic spam

ding-dong ditched outside Raine's door [5/25, late evening]

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