I don't. But it's fine. I've been monitoring my symptoms at regular intervals. Dizziness and nausea are gone. Headache is lingering, but not as severe. Irritability is still present, but that's just normal when talking to you.
Well, I'm feeling anxious, guilty, and [...] a little bit afraid. None of those things really lend themselves to rationality or relaxing. I don't know about you.
I've been running through different permutations of what we could've done to prevent this from happening, and eliminating the options that are far too improbable or otherwise deeply untrue to our motivations. You know my conclusion already. [...] Despite that, I keep thinking about it.
Are you afraid she won't wake up, or something else?
That might be[...] doesn't sound like me at all. I argue this is actually preemptive annoyance at the people who will say "I told you so" over encouraging a teenager to apply for an internship, and I'm seeking an ironclad argument as to why they're wrong.
I think she'd probably find the side effects fascinating. If she wakes up.
[.....] Fine. You're right. It's guilt. We have nothing to be guilty about, but it seems I am experiencing guilt.
Why not go all the way, then? Enodia houses some of the best scientists and doctors in the world. Surely we'll find a way for her to walk out of here and return to her normal life.
After Gavin died, I didn't know what to say to you. I didn't even know if you'd want to talk to me. And then while you were gone for the funeral, I realized I didn't want to be with you anymore. But it felt wrong to break up with you when you'd just lost your brother, and I knew I wouldn't be able to act like things were normal, so I kept putting it off. And then it had been a week. And you'd clearly gotten the message.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
DM, 7/12
No, I really don't know why I said anything. Compromised judgment from the late hour. Lingering effects of nearly getting heat stroke.
DM, 7/12
Okay. [...] You should drink Gatorade or something if you have it. It's better for heat exhaustion than water.
DM, 7/12
I don't. But it's fine. I've been monitoring my symptoms at regular intervals. Dizziness and nausea are gone. Headache is lingering, but not as severe. Irritability is still present, but that's just normal when talking to you.
DM, 7/12
DM, 7/12
DM, 7/12
DM, 7/12
DM, 7/12
DM, 7/12
[...] Why are either of us staying up? It's an entirely unproductive and irrational response to stress.
DM, 7/12
DM, 7/12
Are you afraid she won't wake up, or something else?
DM, 7/12
[...] Yeah. Or that even when she does wake up this will all have [...] fucked her life up somehow, I don't know.
DM, 7/12
might be[...] doesn't sound like me at all. I argue this is actually preemptive annoyance at the people who will say "I told you so" over encouraging a teenager to apply for an internship, and I'm seeking an ironclad argument as to why they're wrong.I think she'd probably find the side effects fascinating. If she wakes up.
DM, 7/12
No "ifs". I'm being optimistic.
DM, 7/12
Why not go all the way, then? Enodia houses some of the best scientists and doctors in the world. Surely we'll find a way for her to walk out of here and return to her normal life.
DM, 7/12
You can't logic mine away either.
DM, 7/12
DM, 7/12
DM, 7/12
DM, 7/12
DM, 7/12
DM, 7/12
DM, 7/12
DM, 7/12
ButCan I call yAfter Gavin died, I didn't know what to say to you. I didn't even know if you'd want to talk to me. And then while you were gone for the funeral, I realized I didn't want to be with you anymore. But it felt wrong to break up with you when you'd just lost your brother, and I knew I wouldn't be able to act like things were normal, so I kept putting it off. And then it had been a week. And you'd clearly gotten the message.
DM, 7/12
I don't know why I evenI'm such aThere. The air is cleared. No mystery left. All doubts about your better intentions have been settled.
DM, 7/12
DM, 7/12
DM, 7/12
DM, 7/12
DM, 7/12